why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
