Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
