How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
