I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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