Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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