so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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