Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
