Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
