I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My pussy is not your playground.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
