I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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