Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
