he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
