No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
