i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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