Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
