awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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