Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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