Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
