You can't motorboat a personality
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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