he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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