you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
