well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
