Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
