I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I came so hard my ears popped.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
