And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
