She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
