I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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