Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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