yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
