I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
