Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
