Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
