You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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