so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
