Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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