id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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