So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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