I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
