I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
