erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
