it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
