I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
