are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
