Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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