Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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