dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
