you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
