she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my shit smells like andre
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
