why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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