I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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